Your Band Sucks & Punk's Dead

by Milk Toast

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    Cassette + Digital Album

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about

This cassette EP is also available to purchase at Blackbyrd Myoozik in Calgary, through Wyrd Distro, and more soon.

credits

released December 7, 2015

Recorded at Tubby Dog, after hours, summer 2015. (thank u tubb)
All songs recorded, mixed & mastered by Michael Halls. (thx hallsy)
Produced by Pee Blood Records. (we love you JW & REL)
All songs/album art/design by Milk Toast.

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Milk Toast Calgary, Alberta

Twee trublmakrs

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Track Name: My Boyfriend Went To New York And He Didn't Invite Me
We’d lay in bed and dream about
A time we’d both get out of town
How could he forget about me
And book a trip so selfishly
Forgot about the plans we made
To go together to the eastern states
His tickets bought, he caught a sale
My invitation got lost in the mail

My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me (x2)

It’s 10 AM on a Saturday
And he’s touched down at JFK
I won’t wait for him to write
I’d rather get on the next flight
To Berlin, or Tokyo
I’d skip on my rent to go
I’m done with him! What can I say?
Sometimes I think he tries to cause me rage

My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me (x2)

He calls me baby, but I don’t care
He owes me one, and I’d say that’s fair
It’s the weekend and I’m dying my hair
I’ve got no regard for him I swear
That’s when he came to my place
With irises and his precious face
“Pack your bags, give your hair a rinse
I’ve booked a trip for two to Paris”

My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me! (x4)
Track Name: The Dirtiest Apartment In The Petite-Patrie
She’s from our hometown
But she lives far away
Across the country
She let us stay at her place
She gave us the keys
And we got an impression
From the grime on her counter
And her poetry collection

Bronwyn’s bookshelves are neat,
They’re tidy and arranged alphabetically,
There the dust doesn’t have any time to settle,
But the rest of her apartment is disheveled

We met her for tea
On a rainy day
Across the city
She ordered coffee
She hung up her poncho
It was spotlessly clean
Meant to fend off the sleet
It was shiny and chic

And I thought about her dirty apartment
And the poetry she writes to pay the rent
It’s the clearest writing you’re likely to read
It’s the dirtiest apartment in the Petite-Patrie

I thought about her dirty apartment
And the poetry she writes to pay the rent
It’s the clearest writing you’re likely to read
It’s the dirtiest apartment in the Petite-Patrie
Track Name: Dave Is Like A Fine Wine
You’re listening to The Unicorns
But nobody you know is listening to them anymore
I saw you down at the record store
Buying albums that were making lists back in ‘04
I remember you, you were with a girl in a band
Now I understand what we had in common back then

You are another (not the only one)
Who looks back fondly on that time
You were a spaceboy dream
You were a honey in the sun
Ooh you were having fun

Now it’s all we can do
Listening to the past
And we’re trying to stay cool
Now it’s all we can do
To face the world
To find a way for it to be a brighter day

Summer came and it was spent
The same old way it had before
You were basking in the sun
You were always having fun (passed out on the floor)
On your way to work in the morning
Seeing spiders when you closed your eyes
Thinking about how you got to be a mess so soon in your life

You’re another (not the only one)
Worrying about what’s become of you
But you’re a spaceboy dream
You’re a honey in the sun
Ooh you’re having fun

Now it’s all we can do
Listening to the past
And we’re trying to stay cool
Now it’s all we can do
To face the world
To find a way for it to be a brighter day

Drop the needle on “Black Sheep Boy”
Get nostalgic for your former self
Turn the stereo off
Go for a walk
Put the book back on the shelf

You’re another (not the only one)
Worrying about what’s become of you
But you’re a spaceboy dream
You’re a honey in the sun
Ooh you’re having fun

Now it’s all we can do
Listening to the past
And we’re trying to stay cool
Now it’s all we can do
To face the world
To find a way for it to be a brighter day
Track Name: (You've Got A) Little Problem
You said that you were feeling strange
And when you got out of bed it was too late
You were late for school
And now you’re missing school
It’s not like you would have learned anything that day
Because you never listen any way
You think you’re so cool
When you act a fool

You threw away your tightest jeans
Had the doctor check out your knees
He said “You’ve got a little problem, I can see”

We got together for a few
I sang a song that I wrote about you
And the drums were on queue
The snare was 1—2
You stay in your room
Looking down at the street
“If You’re Feeling Sinister” on repeat
You’ve got foggy eyes
And before you cry

You’re a bad seed
You’re Lord Anthony
And you’ve got a little problem
It’s obvious to me

You've got a little problem, I can see
You're trying to hide it from your baby
You've got a little problem, I can see
You're trying to hide it from your baby
Track Name: Ears Around You
He’s three tables over
Bending ears over shoulders
He turned down the big money job
Gluing stickers to hardhats drinking soda pop
He probably could have made
Three times his regular wage
But then he wouldn’t be here to ramble
About banging them in to right angles

Ooh ooh ooh
How am I all
Ears around you
A stranger to my face
A stranger to my face
Why’d I listen in the first place?

You and I
We don’t see eye to eye
I listen to your conversations
They make me wanna die
Sitting near
The things I overhear
Can be a thrill
Even still
I wish I wasn’t here

Ooh ooh ooh
How am I all
Ears around you
A stranger to my face
A stranger to my face
Why’d I listen in the first place?

Eavesdropping’s a thrill
It’s fun to write on
Eavesdropping’s a thrill ride
You could die on

Ooh ooh ooh
How am I all
Ears around you
A stranger to my face
A stranger to my face
Why’d I listen in the first place?
Track Name: Shabby Chic
Trim your nails
Learn an instrument with strings
Remember all the things that speak to you
Make a note
Learn a retrogressive tune
There’s no stopping you
Enjoying the room
There’s no stopping you
Enjoying the room

Computer’s crashing again
Your upstairs neighbour’s running laps
Wondering if it’s a sin
Not to turn your excess paper and plastic into crafts

Animate a face
Above home row keys that stick
Stained with tea
Antiquated
Typically distressed
It adds to the mystique
Revolutionary shabby chic
Revolutionary shabby chic

Computer’s not holding your interest
Your neighbour’s a modernist
He’s getting everything delivered in crates
You’ve got your eye on them
Piling up in the alley way
Track Name: Shelby's Not A Punk
It’s been some time now
Before you leave the house
Wrap your scarf around your neck
Think about the girl you haven’t met yet

Headphones in your ears
The river’s frozen this time of year
Collar up to the wind
Wish you weren’t in love with your best friend

You’re working late when your friends are out
On your days off you don’t leave the house
You throw your clothes in the washing machine
It’s a quiet night for someone in the

Punk scene is incestuous
Your friend introduced to a friend of his
Now things are going your way
Everything’s seeming okay

And she’s beautiful
She’s mysterious
She goes to school
And she’s serious
She knows what colour theory is
But Shelby Shelby Shelby
Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk

She might not live up to your demands
She doesn’t listen to hardcore bands
But don’t you have to catch your breath
Every time she talks with her hands
She’s catching flakes of snow
The coffee’s hot but you both feel cold
Still so many hours to go

This is just the first date
You know it doesn’t happen everyday
Maybe it’s time for you to say
You’re going to put your hesitations away

Cause she’s beautiful
She’s mysterious
She goes to school
And she’s serious
She knows what colour theory is
But Shelby Shelby Shelby
Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk

You ran home, you left her behind
Realized you’d never be two of a kind

Was it something that she said?
Like your band sucks and punk’s dead
You can’t recall word for word
Maybe it was something you misheard

It’s been some time now
Before you leave the house
Wrap your scarf around your neck
Think about the girl that you

Met she never stood a chance
She was a victim of circumstance
Now she’s just a memory
Your biggest regret…
Shelby!

She’s beautiful
She’s mysterious
She goes to school
She’s serious
She knows what colour theory is…

She’s beautiful
She’s mysterious
She goes to school
And she’s serious
She knows what colour theory is
But Shelby Shelby Shelby
Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk