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Your Band Sucks & Punk's Dead

by Milk Toast

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1.
We’d lay in bed and dream about A time we’d both get out of town How could he forget about me And book a trip so selfishly Forgot about the plans we made To go together to the eastern states His tickets bought, he caught a sale My invitation got lost in the mail My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me (x2) It’s 10 AM on a Saturday And he’s touched down at JFK I won’t wait for him to write I’d rather get on the next flight To Berlin, or Tokyo I’d skip on my rent to go I’m done with him! What can I say? Sometimes I think he tries to cause me rage My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me (x2) He calls me baby, but I don’t care He owes me one, and I’d say that’s fair It’s the weekend and I’m dying my hair I’ve got no regard for him I swear That’s when he came to my place With irises and his precious face “Pack your bags, give your hair a rinse I’ve booked a trip for two to Paris” My boyfriend went to New York and he didn’t invite me! (x4)
2.
She’s from our hometown But she lives far away Across the country She let us stay at her place She gave us the keys And we got an impression From the grime on her counter And her poetry collection Bronwyn’s bookshelves are neat, They’re tidy and arranged alphabetically, There the dust doesn’t have any time to settle, But the rest of her apartment is disheveled We met her for tea On a rainy day Across the city She ordered coffee She hung up her poncho It was spotlessly clean Meant to fend off the sleet It was shiny and chic And I thought about her dirty apartment And the poetry she writes to pay the rent It’s the clearest writing you’re likely to read It’s the dirtiest apartment in the Petite-Patrie I thought about her dirty apartment And the poetry she writes to pay the rent It’s the clearest writing you’re likely to read It’s the dirtiest apartment in the Petite-Patrie
3.
You’re listening to The Unicorns But nobody you know is listening to them anymore I saw you down at the record store Buying albums that were making lists back in ‘04 I remember you, you were with a girl in a band Now I understand what we had in common back then You are another (not the only one) Who looks back fondly on that time You were a spaceboy dream You were a honey in the sun Ooh you were having fun Now it’s all we can do Listening to the past And we’re trying to stay cool Now it’s all we can do To face the world To find a way for it to be a brighter day Summer came and it was spent The same old way it had before You were basking in the sun You were always having fun (passed out on the floor) On your way to work in the morning Seeing spiders when you closed your eyes Thinking about how you got to be a mess so soon in your life You’re another (not the only one) Worrying about what’s become of you But you’re a spaceboy dream You’re a honey in the sun Ooh you’re having fun Now it’s all we can do Listening to the past And we’re trying to stay cool Now it’s all we can do To face the world To find a way for it to be a brighter day Drop the needle on “Black Sheep Boy” Get nostalgic for your former self Turn the stereo off Go for a walk Put the book back on the shelf You’re another (not the only one) Worrying about what’s become of you But you’re a spaceboy dream You’re a honey in the sun Ooh you’re having fun Now it’s all we can do Listening to the past And we’re trying to stay cool Now it’s all we can do To face the world To find a way for it to be a brighter day
4.
You said that you were feeling strange And when you got out of bed it was too late You were late for school And now you’re missing school It’s not like you would have learned anything that day Because you never listen any way You think you’re so cool When you act a fool You threw away your tightest jeans Had the doctor check out your knees He said “You’ve got a little problem, I can see” We got together for a few I sang a song that I wrote about you And the drums were on queue The snare was 1—2 You stay in your room Looking down at the street “If You’re Feeling Sinister” on repeat You’ve got foggy eyes And before you cry You’re a bad seed You’re Lord Anthony And you’ve got a little problem It’s obvious to me You've got a little problem, I can see You're trying to hide it from your baby You've got a little problem, I can see You're trying to hide it from your baby
5.
He’s three tables over Bending ears over shoulders He turned down the big money job Gluing stickers to hardhats drinking soda pop He probably could have made Three times his regular wage But then he wouldn’t be here to ramble About banging them in to right angles Ooh ooh ooh How am I all Ears around you A stranger to my face A stranger to my face Why’d I listen in the first place? You and I We don’t see eye to eye I listen to your conversations They make me wanna die Sitting near The things I overhear Can be a thrill Even still I wish I wasn’t here Ooh ooh ooh How am I all Ears around you A stranger to my face A stranger to my face Why’d I listen in the first place? Eavesdropping’s a thrill It’s fun to write on Eavesdropping’s a thrill ride You could die on Ooh ooh ooh How am I all Ears around you A stranger to my face A stranger to my face Why’d I listen in the first place?
6.
Shabby Chic 02:57
Trim your nails Learn an instrument with strings Remember all the things that speak to you Make a note Learn a retrogressive tune There’s no stopping you Enjoying the room There’s no stopping you Enjoying the room Computer’s crashing again Your upstairs neighbour’s running laps Wondering if it’s a sin Not to turn your excess paper and plastic into crafts Animate a face Above home row keys that stick Stained with tea Antiquated Typically distressed It adds to the mystique Revolutionary shabby chic Revolutionary shabby chic Computer’s not holding your interest Your neighbour’s a modernist He’s getting everything delivered in crates You’ve got your eye on them Piling up in the alley way
7.
It’s been some time now Before you leave the house Wrap your scarf around your neck Think about the girl you haven’t met yet Headphones in your ears The river’s frozen this time of year Collar up to the wind Wish you weren’t in love with your best friend You’re working late when your friends are out On your days off you don’t leave the house You throw your clothes in the washing machine It’s a quiet night for someone in the Punk scene is incestuous Your friend introduced to a friend of his Now things are going your way Everything’s seeming okay And she’s beautiful She’s mysterious She goes to school And she’s serious She knows what colour theory is But Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk She might not live up to your demands She doesn’t listen to hardcore bands But don’t you have to catch your breath Every time she talks with her hands She’s catching flakes of snow The coffee’s hot but you both feel cold Still so many hours to go This is just the first date You know it doesn’t happen everyday Maybe it’s time for you to say You’re going to put your hesitations away Cause she’s beautiful She’s mysterious She goes to school And she’s serious She knows what colour theory is But Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk You ran home, you left her behind Realized you’d never be two of a kind Was it something that she said? Like your band sucks and punk’s dead You can’t recall word for word Maybe it was something you misheard It’s been some time now Before you leave the house Wrap your scarf around your neck Think about the girl that you Met she never stood a chance She was a victim of circumstance Now she’s just a memory Your biggest regret… Shelby! She’s beautiful She’s mysterious She goes to school She’s serious She knows what colour theory is… She’s beautiful She’s mysterious She goes to school And she’s serious She knows what colour theory is But Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby Shelby’s not a punk

about

This cassette EP is also available to purchase at Blackbyrd Myoozik in Calgary, through Wyrd Distro, and more soon.

credits

released December 7, 2015

Recorded at Tubby Dog, after hours, summer 2015. (thank u tubb)
All songs recorded, mixed & mastered by Michael Halls. (thx hallsy)
Produced by Pee Blood Records. (we love you JW & REL)
All songs/album art/design by Milk Toast.

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Milk Toast Calgary, Alberta

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